Looooooong time no talk. With the week leading up to camp and then the actual week at camp I really haven’t had time to be on this space in a while. I honestly thought I would miss it more than I do but I think that’s because I’m more present with you guys via instagram rather than the blog and that’s ok. Not sure how I feel about that but this space almost just feels like a diary sometimes rather than an interactive space. That could be the way I write, the way this blog is stet up, or my content. Whatever the reason may be, I feel sort of meh about constancelyeating as of late.
Regardless of my feelings I still want to update you on life before I pick up and leave again on Wednesday! If there was one personal, food-related, takeaway this week it was to embrace my hunger with what was given. Sure, I would rather have a piece of whole grain bread and pasta and I wouldn’t have chosen eggs, sausage, and fried potatoes for breakfast everyday but that was not my choice to make.
(typical breakfast of eggs, potatoes of some form, and fruit + like 3 cups of camp coffee because its super watery )
This wasn’t my first time at camp so I knew the food would be sub-par before going in. I mean, feeding 250 people for 3 meals a day isn’t an easy task for a small kitchen staff! I decided to adopt the attitude of being grateful for meals rater than criticize them. Earlier in my journey with food this task would have been impossible. Yes, impossible. I was so stuck in that diet mentality that I labeled refined carbohydrates as “bad” and the dessert as something “off-limits”.
(We had pasta in like 3 forms this week and I loved it!)
Its funny, one of the counselors this week who remembered a talk I gave the the campers at the beginning of my mental recovery (for me, the physical recovery came first in regaining my period and gaining physical weight but truly being in it mentally came years later) from my eating disorder about 4 years ago came up to me this week and commented on how far I’ve come. For one, the fact that he even remembered that talk when I had buried it deep in my memory was amazing, and two, he was right. I have come so far in the way I think of food.
This week I was pretty much excited to eat everything offered, with the exception of one day with the literal grossest looking pizzas ever where I decided to stick with a double salad and dessert instead. I came to each meal super ready to feast because at camp you are constantly moving which is super different from my day-to-day where I’m active but not even a little close to camp active.
I ate what looked good and stopped when I was full always asking myself if I was satisfied or not. If I wasn’t satisfied, I could usually get satisfaction from some of the snacks in the director’s cabin like cookies, or chex mix, etc. To be honest, there wasn’t a day where I was like man, I wish I was in my own kitchen, because it was awesome to not have to think about cooking or shopping or spending money. I just did my thing and then I ate.
(Salad wth cottage cheese and garbanzo beans for protein + they had a great balsamic)
Also, like I said on Facebook, the salad game at camp moved WAY UP. I also really forgot how darn good the chocolate chip cookies the kitchen staff makes were. I had 3 of them that week and I have to say those were my favorite things I ate. Gooey, warm, and so chocolate-chippy.
I also got to enjoy my meal with different people. Most of the time I was at the director’s table, other times I sat with one of my counselor’s tables when they needed a break or do something else during meal time, or I was eating with individual campers. Either way, it was almost hard to focus on food when you have 250 kids doing dinner cheers, my walkie talkie going off, a home sick kid, or a massive headache and sunburn and that was a total change up from real life eating where I try and be present to notice how full or satisfied I really am. Somehow it all worked well and I really enjoyed this week at camp in every aspect, food included.
This week more than anything I realized how much I needed camp. I set some new goals for myself that I’m ready to be working towards and I was just able to be myself. No make up, no cute clothes, and no judgments. I don’t ever see myself in a place in my life where I’m not working with kids in some form whether that be in my private practice, through the Y, or through another place. Kids are just a part of me and bring out the best version of myself.
(Veggie curry one night that was SO GOOD)
Catch you guys in Chicago!