Growth, something that happens because of some of the most traumatic events in our lives or because of something as small as eating breakfast. We grow daily, some days more than others, and sometimes it sucks to grow because that means being wrong. Actually, it usually means being wrong. You could have judged a person before meeting them and then you meet and spend time with them and come to find they are an awesome human being. You could have misjudged your hunger, ate entirely too fast and too much, and ended up way too full only to come ready to connect your mind and body at the next meal and totally nail the comfortable full this time around. You could have studied your buns off for an exam only to find that the questions are nothing like you prepared and then you found out that you are actually a really good critical thinker and didn’t totally fail the exam, you maybe even got an A.
(Grad school ladiez)
Those situations could also go the other way though and still come with growth outcomes. You could have played someone up in your head and went into a networking coffee meeting or a date or whatever and came out to find that the person was just blah or was really off putting for some reason and then you can take some time to evaluate those feelings and emotions and store that in your brain for next time. You could have misjudged your hunger, gotten WAY too full, and then did it again the next meal. You could then sit with yourself to ask yourself what the emotions surrounding your eating are or maybe you need to pack more snacks so you don’t arrive at meal times ravenous because that’s what keeps happening. You could have studied for an exam, FAILED IT, and then said ok, let’s get a tutor and ask for help because I’m wrong here and I want to not be so wrong next time.
All of these situations are places for growth. You could also look at them as failures but that’s such a negative word and in the end you didn’t fail, you succeeded, and then you grew- even if the experiences were negative. My early 20’s have been filled with so. much. growth. I’ve been wrong so many times and I’m becoming more comfy about being wrong as the days and weeks pass because every time I look back I’m glad I took the risk, sent the email, asked the question, got to know the person, contributed to a discussion in class, backed away from a friendship, started a new one.
In an awesome book I read this break titled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I loved the concept of growth that was described in such a great way. Manson writes “We shouldn’t seek to find the ultimate “right” answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the ways that we’re wrong today so that we can be a little less wrong tomorrow.”
If you are struggling with building more body trust with yourself, allowing yourself unconditional permission to eat, speaking kinder words to yourself, practicing more self care, saying YES to having fun and not caring about what other people think… I encourage you to be wrong. I don’t think we can find our comfortable without being a little uncomfortable too. I wouldn’t want a life where I don’t feel negative emotions. Emotions are fleeting and it sucks to feel the growth emotions but it feels great to know you have grown.
I used to HATE beer and then last year with my beer loving best friend I gave it an “adult try” (that’s my new phrase for anything these days- maybe one day I’ll enjoy whisky? probably not but you never know) and I found out I really love IPAs! So I get them way more often now.
This week/end of last in particular as I sit in this portion of break where I’m like “I want to be at school learning, but I’m also supposed to be “relaxing” but I’m getting antsy.. UGHHH” I also had my first duties as The Real Life Intern for Robyn and I’ve definitely been wrong. I’ve asked a lot of questions, felt silly for not knowing something, or have simply been in awe of how Robyn keeps all her ducks in a row here with Real Life Women’s Health. Although I know it’s a learning experience for both of us I feel like my growth curve is super extra big and I’m thankful for the grace she has given me with week one. I’m really enjoying learning and being wrong every now and then because I know by the time it’s my turn to have my own business I’ll be a little less wrong with everything because I’ve had great practice. This break has also given me a lot of time for personal wrongs too in getting to know other people and myself better. I was contemplating what I’ve actually “done” this break and I can definitely say that I’ve put myself in situations that make me feel uncomfortable and that I’ve grown from them so I would call that a win.
So, all that to say that being wrong is good. We should be ok with it and I hope you are a little wrong today, and less wrong tomorrow.